Ken Daube Numbers Smart Football Use?

I love a good pun.  And I loved Trainspotting.  When it came out I just got my braces off and was trying to convince my girlfriend to have sex.  One of those particular moments of persuasion occurred while watching the sex-and drug-fueled movie starring Ewen McGregor, Robert Carlysle, Johnny Lee Miller and that ugly dude whose name escapes me at the moment who played "Spud".  

So it follows that I gravitated towards the ESPN.com column Trendspotting and its assortment of random facts put together using sentences to appear to explain certain events that have happened and to prognosticate those that may. 

After perusing this week's deep-throat of the Elias Sports Bureau, I realized two things: 1. Trainspotting probably creeped my girlfriend out, hence preventing me from getting any and 2. Ken Daube is no Rain Man.  In fact, The Reign Man would have a better shot at number analysis than Doube.  And he couldn't even keep count of his illegitimate kids.

Behold, number turdification:

Reggie Wayne, Indianapolis Colts (19 targets in Week 4, 15 receptions): Since the beginning of the 2009 season, Wayne has faced the Jacksonville Jaguars three times. During those games, Wayne has amassed 162, 132 and 196 receiving yards, respectively. In his other 17 games during the same time period, Wayne has broken the 100-yard mark three times (against theNew England Patriots, San Francisco 49ers and Arizona Cardinals).

Of course!  That explains it! I knew it.  Fucking A!  Pop the champagne!!!!

Wait.  What?  Hold on. Ok.  Hmmm.  Oh.  Got it.  This is worthless data that is applicable to nothing.  Shit. Put away the champagne. You opened it already?  Goddammit.  Ok.  Fine.  Let's drink it.

When I read this I thought to myself, "This is a brain fart that fell into the column because, well, ESPN.com has some of the worst writers on the planet."  But then I really started to wrap my head around it, and in no particular part because of the fact that I happen to own Reginald Von Wayne III in my fantasy league(I tend to get extremely defensive of my players).  The more I thought about this the more I really had NO FUCKING CLUE AS TO WHAT TREND THIS PERTAINS TO, WHICH IS THE GOAL OF THE COLUMN AS IT IS EPONYMOUSLY TITLED TRENDSPOTTING. Is the trend that he lights up the Panthers?  OK.  Why is this important?  Are you going to sit Reggie Wayne EVER in a season?  Over those same 17 games from he has had at least 80 yards or a touchdown 10 times.  If this column is about whether to sit/start Reggie Wayne against the Jags last week, well then Daube is a candidate for organ donation, because he is clearly braindead.  If it is about the Jaguars secondary sucking, then Daube is a human pro-abortion campaign. 


It seems to me more in the vein of the Chris Farley SNL interview skit, like, "Hey, remember those two games Reggie Wayne had a ton of yards and touchdowns and stuff? That was awesome."   Is that a trend?  I don't know.  I'm not Michael Lewis, or Andre Leon Talle therefore I can't spot trends, but neither can Ken Daube.