Rocco Mediate Wears Mom Jeans

I love the everyman.  I love to see a titan become human.  The david and goliath thing is great for ratings and hell, it's father's day, so what better way to celebrate than with a guy who would look as comfortable in a pair of jean shorts hiked up to his nipples and mandals with socks drinking a bud outside his ranch style home as he does in a pair of golf pants hiked up to his nipples with a massive peace sign buckle.

So what if Mediate couldn't hit a baseball out of the infield with a fungo bat. The guy just appreciates everything.  He didn't even root for Tiger to miss that last putt.  Can you believe it?

Wow.  That is absolute bullshit and I'm calling it.

The man is 45 and hasn't won a major, is ranked number 158 in the world and has missed 9 of 18 cuts this year so far.  His name is ROCCO for christsake.  He's 175th in driving distance (I think my Dad is like 164th and he doesn't even play golf) and up until a -2 scorcher that garnered him $201K at the Memorial Tourney two weeks ago had earned a whopping $109K.  I'm not trying to get down on the guy, I'm just saying that this is how the conversation would have happened in PWoT (Parallel World of Truth)*.  

"Rocco, what were thinking when Tiger hit that put?  Were you rooting against it?"

"Well Roger, I'll be honest.  I wanted for something horrible to happen to him.  I was praying-and incidentally, I'm an agnostic-that he would die.  I didn't just want him to miss the putt.  I didn't want him to get the chance to even size it up.  I was thinking massive coronary.  Or something crazy, you know, like a meteor.  Anything.  A plane crash directly on him.  I don't know if you've seen my stats this year.  I'm terrible.  This is a complete fluke.  If he doesn't die I will not win.  That's what i was thinking."

*if you are new to RDCMD than you will be undoubtedly inundated with annoying acronyms of which this is but one of.