As I "work from home" today (read: click on my laptop every 14 minutes and 59 seconds to keep from being logged off the company network) I am enjoying the fact that the U.S. Open has an 18-hole playoff. This is so much more satisfying than a one or three hole playoff, not to mention more fair.
A couple observations:
1) As I type this, ESPN is showing an interview with Rocco Mediate from before the round. Rocco seems to be his usual amiable self, chatting away and joking with the interviewer, probably being characteristically humble and just happy to be here. I say "probably" because the interview had no sound. Maybe I'm not qualified to comment on this, since I didn't go to the Connecticut School of Broadcasting (got a scholarship to (and a free set of tools from) Apex Tech), but doesn't it seem that during every live broadcast, the broadcasting network should have at least one person on its staff whose main job is to actually watch the broadcast on a normal TV outside the network's system and immediately communicate any problems to the director, so they can cut away, or fix the situation. Just a thought. And also, for the record, when this job is created, I want it. My two most preferred employers would be ESPN, or The Spice Channel, should they decide to extend into live programming.
2) What's with the guys who yell "Get in the hole!", or other such nonsense, right after Tiger, or basically any popular player or tournament leader, strikes the ball? More to the point, why is no one punching these guys in the face, or preferably, tasering them in the taint? Not to get all snobby, especially considering I am poor, from a blue collar background, terrible at golf, etc. etc., but are these guys trying to turn golf into NASCAR? To quote the aforementioned Bill Walton, "That's just terrible!" My (least) favorite is when they yell "Get in the hole!" after Tiger tees off on a par 5. Oh, I see what you did there, you said "get in the hole" but he probably won't because the hole is 600 yards away, you clever son of a bitch who is also your sister. This is why we need a licensing system to govern the use of irony.
3) Rocco just missed an ace on the third by about 3 inches. It's hard for me to decide whom to root for. I like Tiger alot and feel lucky to be able to watch a once in a lifetime player in his prime, so I generally root for him; also I have him in a little mini Majors-only fantasy league organized by Artie K. himself. But Rocco is such an everyman. He drives like 260. I can drive the ball 260 (100 yards straight then 160 yards at a right angle to the right, but whatever*)! He has gotten to this point in the Open by playing a nice, consistent, conservative game and just hitting fairways and greens in regulation. Plus, he's old, and super humble, and this would mean about a million times more to him than it would to Tiger, who wins Major championships on no sleep playing left-handed. It's a toss up. I guess I'll be happy no matter who wins. As long as it isn't Hillary.
*(Bonus Question: I actually hit that ball further than 260 yards, can you calculate the hypotenuse?)
4) I'm going to start yelling "Bite! Bite!" after every ball I hit, just to seem more Tiger-like. Especially if "bite" makes no sense contextually. Hilarious! See, me grasp basic irony too.
7 comments:
went home for lunch (easier to control my weight watcher points that way- and yes art k. is a dude) and saw that interview also. i was amazed they let it go on for about 1-2 min.; usually that is cut-off after ten secs cause someone actually realizes- pretty poor job by espn.
i am definitely rooting for rocco, and definitely watching from usopen.com on my computer. productivity be damned.
oh- and i used to agree with you about "get in the hole" yelling until landsmower, mannequin and myself were at the phoenix open during super bowl week. yelling it after charlie wii and kevin na putts was oddly intoxicating.
Maybe it's the horrible effects of groupthink but when you get on the course-as AK pointed out from when he MDC and I were at the Super Bowl-you just want to yell it even though when you watch you think it's retarded. Walking down the street I don't want to put dollar bill's in girls thongs, but when I'm at a strip joint it just feels right, you know?
Lands - Don't act like you don't want to; you just don't because it's illegal.
Also, I don't mind it after putts, I think I really just mind it after a guy hits his driver. Although I guess it's got a better ring than "Land in the fairway!"
I am a big fan of yelling things at sporting events but my rule is, if you're gonna be an asshole, be a funny asshole.
Like one of the funniest chants I ever heard of was some Sox fan was yelling at David Justice "Hey Justice, you beat your wife!" back when Justice was on the Yanks (and beat his wife); cruel but not that funny. But then Tino came up, and the Sox fan yelled "Hey Tino, Justice beats his wife!"
Now that is high comedy.
Also how come we never talked about how "David Justice" would be the best name ever for a Jewish superhero?
That's brilliant.
David Justice: Fighting evil all over the place....unless it contains pork.
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